Promises Broken: Why Asking For Forgiveness Often Requires More Than Words

"I realize I let you down."

"...and?"

"I just wanted to apologize."

"...and?"

"I feel really bad about it."

"...and?"

"What do you mean by '...and', I said I was sorry?

"...and?"

"Why do you keep asking that? Isn't enough for me to simply apologize for blowing it?

"No. Not this time."

"Well what do you want me to do?"

We've all been on both sides of that conversation. One person has let another down. One person is hurt by another person's broken promise.

Words like - "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I won't do it again." - are spoken.

But there still remains this gnawing sense of "...and?" in the mind of the one who's been disappointed.

I was involved in a conversation like the one above this morning. Then I came across an article written by my friend and mentor, Rosa Say at Talking Story. She offered some very insightful guidance for these types of situations.

What is the best way to make it up to someone when you've let them down?

Own up to it.
Apologize.
Take care of it.
Add more value.

Rosa helped me and the person who I was talking to understand that an apology often requires more than the words: I'm sorry.

I would encourage you to read Rosa's article, On Ho‘ohiki: Keeping your promises.