A Leadership Letter From My Kid's Coach

/NOTE: I received this letter in an email from Mitch's ski coach. Mitch is my third child and currently skis in the J3 class for the McCall Ski Racing Team. I was impressed by Pete Petry's challenge to equip my son mentally and physically for this year's racing season./

It takes a combination of things to become a successful athlete. If you look at any top professional athlete, Ted Ligety, Lindsey Vonn, Kerry Walsh, Kobe Bryant etc you will notice a certain swagger in addition to their outstanding athletic abilities. They seem to radiate with confidence and inner-belief no matter how good or bad the event is going. These athletes are physically strong but more importantly mentally stronger. We have all watched anyone of these athletes get behind in a competition, make a mistake and put themselves in an unfavorable position; in addition we have all watched countless heroic comebacks by such athletes; Ted’s gold medal performance at the ’06 Olympics is a great example … behind after the downhill portion of the combined event Ted let it all hang out in the slalom and look what happened …America’s newest ski racing sensation!!! Ted battled the odds and came out on top.

How To Put The "STUD" In Student Leader E-Book

The path to greatness in student leadership is often paved with a lot of little things.

That's what I hoped to communicate in this ebook, STUDENT LEADER: 35 Ways To Put The STUD In Student Leader. [1.3mb PDF]

These are not difficult or time-consuming ideas. They are simple ideas that, when implemented, go a long way in establishing a student as a student leader.

Are there things that you find yourself repeating over and over to your student leaders? That's what this list is. It's the lessons and skills that I recite on a regular basis to those student leaders in my care. Sometimes you need another way to communicate. That's why I put this ebook together.

It's Free. Free to download. Free to pass out. Free to send to others. Free to use.

I would love to hear your comments about this resource. Let me know how you're using it and whom you have passed it on to.

Train Your Students Tonight With This Worksheet!

How much time do you have to train the student leaders in your community?

How much time do you have to prepare for your student leadership training times?

One of the requests I've received more than once is for an easy-to-use student worksheet for student leadership training times. I know that most advisors have difficulty finding curriculum and materials that meet their student leadership development needs.

Try this out.

I've created a one-page, downloadable worksheet that can be used right alongside the Studentlinc Core Leadership Training series. Using the SCLT lesson as a leader's guide, this worksheet is a loaded resource for your students to take with them and refer back to time and again.

Try it out. Download the SCLT Worksheet on Character. (pdf-72kb)

Let me know what you think in the comments below. If you find this helpful, I'll be producing worksheets that go with the remaining 29 lessons in the SCLT series

And if you haven't taken a look at the Studentlinc Core Leadership Training material, here's the first lesson - Character - for FREE.

UPDATE: I've enhanced the worksheet to include a section using my 5x5s teaching model. To learn more about 5x5s go here.

There's A Difference Between Asking For Help And Being Helpless [Part 4]

Student leaders often don't ask for help because they feel like it makes them look helpless.

Does that describe you?

If it does, there is hope. There is a better way. There is a way to ask for help without using the actual "H" word. There is a way to ask for help that makes the other person feel valued, appreciated, special, unique, qualified, needed, and motivated to help.

I've come up with a few ways to engage someone in the big ASK!

We ask because we need help.
We ask because we want to get others involved.
We ask because someone can help us.
We ask because it's what leaders do.
We ask because we can't and don't want to do it all by ourselves.
We ask because it actually empowers others.
We ask because it shows others where there is an opportunity.

So try some of these ideas. Some of them are simply statements that you can lead with. Others are direct questions that ask for help.

• I've noticed you did a really great job on that project. What do you thing about doing something similar for us?
• We need someone like you on our team.
• When we started this project, I immediately thought of you.
• Would you be willing to partner with us?
• Would you be willing to take the lead on this?
• Could you recommend someone who is as talented as you who could assist us?
• You were recommended as someone who could assist us with this.
• If you were in my position what would you do?
• Do you want to be a part of something remarkable?
• I know you're overqualified, but can you give us a bit of your expertise?
• I know you're really busy, but can you give us an hour of your time?
• I know you're interested in making this the best year ever, can you jump on board this project?
• We just need one more person to make this thing a huge success.
• We'd all feel a lot better about this project if we knew that someone like yourself was on board with us.
• This is going to make a huge difference on our campus. I know you'll enjoy working on this.
• I've seen you do this kind of thing before. Can you show me how you did it so that I can how as well?
• Just imagine how great everyone is going to feel if we can pull this off. Don't you want to be a part of making that happen?
• Hey! Could you look at something for me? What do you think?
• I am useless in this area. Would you be able to do anything to help move things forward?
• You're the most (insert adjective here) person I know. And I'm looking for a (insert same adjective here) person.

What do you think? Are you ready to go and recruit the people you need to make your student leadership year the best ever? Don't just lay general invitations out there through mass emails or a flyer. Ask individual people...those whom you feel would do a great job. Help them see why they'd be great and what they'd get out of it.

It will take some discernment.
It will take some courage.
It will take some humility.
It will take some time.

But it will make you a better student leader. So go ahead and ask for help. It sure beats being helpless.

Read Part One.
Read Part Two.
Read Part Three.

There's A Difference Between Asking For Help And Being Helpless [Part 3]

Here's a true story...

Sally (I changed the name) was our yearbook editor. She was fun-loving, easy to work with, and confident. Throughout the year, she would give update reports to the executive student leadership team about her progress on the book. When the end of the year came and summer arrived, she stated that she'd have the whole book turned in within a week.

At the beginning of the next school year, the new Student Government President and I sat down to talk about the plans for the upcoming year. He asked me when the yearbook would be arriving. I told him to call our yearbook company and check on the shipping date.

He came back into my office a few moments later. Our yearbook company had received NOTHING from our school.

Unfortunately for us, the previous year's yearbook editor did not return to school. As we worked to solve the mystery, one thing became increasingly clear:

This student had become overwhelmed with her responsibilities and was fearful of asking for help because she felt like people would think she was incapable.

As I stated in the second part of this series, some student leaders will never reach out and ask someone else for help. And it makes me wonder...why?

Here's some of the reasons why I think students will choose to face failure rather than facing the fact that they need help:

Insecurity - When a student accepts a student leader position, he wants to be perceived as a student leader. He wants people to think that he's capable of accomplishing all of the things that the position requires. But doing all of the tasks simply makes him a student worker. The reality is, he's not a student leader until he gets others involved. A student leader doesn't have to be able to do everything...he just needs to find the right people to accomplish the tasks.

Naiveness - Sometimes, a student leader won't realize all of the things that a position will require of her. She just thinks it will be fun. She doesn't realize that every position requires a price to pay in order to be able to play. If a student leader pays on the front end, she'll be better able to play on the back end. But if she plays up front...she'll have to pay at some point. And the cost keeps going up throughout the year. Simply ignoring a problem or deadline doesn't make it go away.

Ego/Arrogance - The term "student leader" infers that the one who is leading is also a student. That means that the leader is a learner. If a leader stops learning, the leader stops leading. A student leader who refuses to ask for help may be suffering from an overinflated ego. Even though a student leader NEEDS help, he may be reluctant because he doesn't want to look HELPLESS. But failing to ask is just asking to fail.

Past Betrayal - I'll be the first to admit that it's often easier to simply do things yourself. A student leader may have asked someone for help in the past and that person let her down. But that's how it goes sometimes. Rather than give up on people, why not learn how to spot better, potential leaders? Take the time to learn from the experience and create systems that help to keep people accountable and intrinsically motivated.

Not Sure Who To Ask - Sometimes a student leader won't ask for help because he doesn't see anyone whom he feels is capable. That's okay. One of the first things a student leader must decide is what are the things that only he should do. Then he can work toward delegating the other tasks and getting others involved. Is there someone whom you can train? Perhaps you need to look outside of your circle of friends? Have you asked your advisor whom he or she would recommend? If a student leader doesn't think anyone is qualified, he may have to reevaluate what he's asking for or his own perception of people.

Hopefully, you're beginning to understand that asking for help is not a bad thing. In fact, it can be the best thing you do as a student leader. What is it that scares you about asking for help? Is it the word itself - help?

Looks like I need a part four to this thing. Next up...how to ask for help without saying the word - help.

Photo found on Flickr by Shira Golding.

There's A Difference Between Asking For Help And Being Helpless [PART TWO]

Most student leaders should realize right off the bat that they're working in a volunteer organization. The students that they invite to come alongside and assist them in various roles and capacities will probably not be paid (with money$$). That means that a student leader will need to rely on their intrinsic motivation to encourage them with the opportunity to get involved.

This is so important to remember.

When you are asking another person for help, you must show them the benefit it will bring to them and the benefit it will bring to you. What will they get in return for their help?

It could be something as simple as a heartfelt thank you.
It could be knowing that they used their strengths and giftedness.
It could be a sense of helping someone else move forward.
It could be the good feeling of solving a problem.
It could be the feeling of being needed.
It could be a stronger relationship with you.
It could be the satisfaction of accomplishing something.
It could be the sense that they belong.
It could be understanding that their help will make something great happen for others.

There are many ways to tap into the intrinsic motivation of someone else. When you identify what that is for an individual, you can connect the task your needing help on to it. You can show them what they will receive by helping you.

Realize this: People will often do more because of intrinsic motivations like I've listed above then they will if they're simply receiving money for their work.

As a student leader, there will ALWAYS be times when you will need to seek the help of someone else. Consider some of these scenarios...

You find yourself in a situation where you know you are capable of taking action, but you're unable to focus for the required amount of time necessary to complete the action.

You find yourself in a situation where you feel like your organization will be in serious TROUBLE if you don't do the right thing.

You find yourself in a situation where you shouldn't tackle an issue on your own regardless of whether you have the time or not.

You find yourself in a situation where you know you're capable of taking action by you feel like you would be better off if someone else got involved to think through the options with you or take the action on themselves.

Of course there are many more scenarios that could warrant a student leader going to someone else for help. Yet each scenario has the possibility of paralyzing student leaders when they feel like they have to do everything themselves.

WARNING: Some student leaders will never reach out and ask someone else for help.

Don't let that be you. There are a variety of reasons why a student leader (in name only if no one is following you) will try to do things on their own and hesitate to ask. In fact, that's going to be the subject of my next post on this issue.

Read Part One on this topic

There's A Difference Between Asking For Help And Being Helpless

     "When you come to a fork in the road, take it." - Yogi Berra

While this quote may not make sense, it does encourage the reader to do one thing...keep moving. As a student leader, you will have a lot of decisions to make and many opportunities to get other people involved. When a situation or decision becomes overwhelming you might want to consider seeking advice and guidance. Getting the assistance of others may be just the thing you need to keep moving forward.

It's okay to ask for help. I highly recommend it.

There is a difference between asking for help and being helpless. The difference is in your attitude and perspective. Look at this comparison chart

Ask For Help: Seeking resources
Helpless: Has no resources

Ask For Help: Intentional
Helpless: Reactive

Ask For Help: Draw people to you
Helpless: Pushes people away

Ask For Help: Leader
Helpless: Victim

Ask For Help: Better because others do help
Helpless: Bitter because others don't help

Ask For Help: Focus on strengths of others
Helpless: Focus on own weakness

Ask For Help: Hopeful
Helpless: Hopeless

I think the last comparison says it all. When you are willing to ask someone else for help, it will provide a sense of hope. Hope that you aren't in this thing alone, hope that you can rely on someone else, and hope that your work will be better because of the strengths of someone else.

A helpless person is a hopeless person. Doesn't that just sound sad?

There's a lot going through my mind on this issue. I've seen too many student leaders squander their opportunities because they felt like they had to do everything themselves. Unfortunately, if you are doing it by yourself...you're not leading.

I think I need a part two to this post....

Great Quotations on Education

The most recent edition of the Leadership Wired E-Newsletter contained some superb quotes on education. After reflecting on them, I recommend a couple of things:

1. Subscribe to Leadership Wired. It's free.
2. Spend some time reflecting on these quotes in light of your own perspective on learning.

"Education is not preparation for life; education is life itself." ~ John Dewey

"Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere." ~ Chinese Proverb

"Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value." ~ Albert Einstein

"The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn." ~ Alvin Toffler

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." ~ William Butler Yeats

New Downloadable Student Leadership Training Materials

STUDENTLINC'S NEWEST TRAINING MATERIALS JUST ADDED TO THE RESOURCE PAGE!

The STUDENTLINC CORE LEADERSHIP TRAINING MODULES are concise and practical lessons designed to prepare students for leadership. Each module, 30 in all, focuses on a different leadership theme. These themes are based on the Six Seasons of the Student Leader Year Training Model. They incorporate the five leadership capacities in the Student Leader Backpack to create a comprehensive student leadership development program.

Interested? Want to know more and see a sample?
Download the SLCT Overview

Pricing:
$3.99 - Individual Lesson
$16.99 - Seasonal Set (5 lessons)

I'll be adding more and more of the modules listed below in the coming weeks. As the sets become available, I will be offering them at the discounted price listed above.

SEASON: IMPLEMENTATION (Available February 2008)
Personal Management | Equipping | Preparation | Effective Communication | Delegation

SEASON: FLUCTUATION (Available February 2008)
Balance | Values | Problem Solving | Relational Communication | Accountability

SEASON: EVALUATION (Available February 2008)
Priorities | Momentum | Leading Change | Listening | Focus On Strengths

SEASON: DEDICATION (Available March 2008)
Self-Discipline | Excellence | Paying The Price | Motivation | Teamwork

SEASON: SEPARATION (Available April 2008)
Finish Strong | Legacy | Celebration | Experience | Potential Leaders

These lessons are perfect for those who are involved as student government and club advisors, teachers, mentors, and parents. They are suitable for students ranging from high school through college.

Download the Studentlinc Core Leadership Training Overview

How Are Your Student Leaders Doing?

I've just revised and updated the eBook - Student Worker or Student Leader.

I WANT you to download this eBook and give it to all of those people you know who are student leaders or who work with student leaders. It is free! It is easy to read! It is useful for your student leadership development right now.

I wrote this eBook because I was struggling with the number of students that were elected or selected to serve in student leadership positions - but they weren't doing anything that even closely resembled leadership. These students thought they were student leaders because they had the nametag, or got to go to the student government meetings, or because they were chosen.

The fact is, they were working (often very hard) but they weren't leading. And as I write on the cover of the eBook:

Most students often confuse being a student worker versus being a student leader. Both are necessary. Yet many consider themselves to be student leaders when in reality, they are mostly a student worker. Do you know the difference?

I worked hard on providing a redesign of this eBook that would make it easy for you to print it off and pass it out to your students. If you are a student leader, I made sure there was plenty of white space for you to write down your thoughts and notes as you work through each one of the differences.

Download Student Leader or Student Worker

What you can expect:

• Have a better understanding of the various roles that both student workers and student leaders play in your organization.
• Know where to put your focus.
• Know when learning to lead becomes more important than your personal best effort.
• Understand why you can't do everything.
• Why you should identify your weaknesses and lead from your strengths.
• 18 easy-to-read pages.
• Challenge to be the leader you were meant to be.

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Do you know if you're a student worker or student leader?

SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT: After you've downloaded and read the eBook, leave your comments below.

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Tim Milburn
Student Leadership Speaker & Consultant