You're leading a small group discussion. All of a sudden, the group comes to a complete and ugly stop because of a discussion dilemma. Small group leaders often struggle with the unexpected because they don't anticipate difficult situations and are unsure how to respond when they arise.
Here's the situation:
I pose a question to my small group. Now there's silence. Dead silence. No one speaks or moves. It's like I'm speaking in a foreign language.
Here's what you should consider:
1. Sometimes a great question will cause your group participants to THINK. Give them time to do that.
If you are unfamiliar with the group it may take you a meeting or two to be able to distinguish between silence because they're thinking or silence because they don't get the question. If you are struggling to figure out which, offer a follow-up question: "Do you understand what I'm asking for?"
2. You might have asked a question that just flew over their head or isn't making sense. You might simply need to back up and ask a different question or rephrase the one you just asked.
For example, you may ask, "How many of you failed miserably this week?" which results in blank stares and deep silence. Some of them might be thinking about it, but it's a difficult question to answer, especially in a group setting. Perhaps a back up question could be, "What is the toughest part of your responsibilities?" or "How does last week compare with other weeks?"
As you can see, open-ended questions leave greater room for your group members to respond.
3. As a rule of thumb, don't start lecturing to fill in the silence.
Your answers may be important, but it will kill interaction and participation if you are the only one answering your own questions. Why not simply ask better questions?!?
4. Get your group engaged in something active, something that gets them interacting with the concepts you're talking about.
Often, getting people in pairs or groups of threes to discuss a topic will give them more confidence to share in the larger group. You also need to consider the interest level of the group. Is this a topic that is relevant to them?
5. Your own non-verbal communication will affect their responsiveness.
Look them in the eye when you talk to them. Smile at your group. Relax. Don't get stressed out when there's silence. When someone does give a response, lean toward them and appear very interested. Nod your head and don't fold your arms as they speak.
6. Encourage them with your verbal communication as well.
When someone offers a response, don't immediately judge it's accuracy. Acknowledge and affirm their contribution. You might want to say something like, "Thank you for offering that."
If the answer is good, make sure and compliment the person.
You want to show that responding to the question is a good thing and this is a safe place.
7. You may notice someone who is really wrestling with your question and appears to have some type of response. Go ahead and call on that person.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT: Why are we often uncomfortable with silence when leading a small group discussion?
SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT: What other strategies do you use when you encounter silence in a small group discussion?
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Tim Milburn
Student Leadership Trainer & Tool Maker
www.studentlinc.net
[Photo credit: Getty Images]
What an important topic with small groups. I have lead and been a part of many small groups and I have to say that I am learning to love the awkward silence more and more. Many people cannot take it, most people feel really uncomfortable, but a few, like myself love it. In the silent times of response many things are happening. They are thinking and wondering, and my belief is that God is working. Breaking the silence can break the communication between them and themselves and them and God.
Although I love the scary awkward silence I think you are right about being clear in your discussion questions. One way is to respond to your own question first. This helps with uneasyness and gives an example to follow. The key is to keep it short and honest.
Anyways, I could go on an on, but thats all want to say for now.
Posted by: Tom | April 11, 2007 at 03:10 PM