It Starts With You And What You Do

Stacy stood at the front of the room and raised her voice above the crowd of students gathered there.

"May I have your attention please!"

The dull roar of the crowd started to subside but then quickly swelled back to it's original levels.

"Excuse me! I need everyone's attention!!"

Nobody was listening. No one was paying attention. Stacy was getting frustrated.

Have you ever been in this type of situation? You are the leader (whether by name or by position or by your own choice) and you have to get the group moving in a certain direction. The only problem is that people aren't listening to you. You aren't influencing anyone.

One of the core leadership characteristics I encourage student leaders to develop is their ability to influence others. Your influence will be the fuel and motivation behind your leadership. If you have it, people will begin to trust you and then they'll begin to follow you. If you don't have it, you'll soon find yourself standing in front of a room full of people with no one listening to you even though you're shouting at them.

One of the first things I tell student leaders about gaining and growing influence amongst their peers is that they have to make the first move. They must find a way to do something for someone else before they ask them to do something for them. I tell students that they must do the hard work of building a bridge with someone before they can ever ask that person to cross it with them.

It starts with you (the leader) and what you do (the way you add value to someone else).

Before you rush to the front of the room because you are the one in the student leadership position, take some time to earn the trust and gain the influence of those whom you wish to lead. You can do this by:

• Serving someone.
• Encouraging someone.
• Listening to someone.
• Helping someone.
• Affirming someone.
• Empowering someone.
• Giving to someone.
• Making a sacrifice for someone.

Do you see the common thread that runs through each of those tasks in the list? They all focus on meeting the needs of someone else before you seek to accomplish anything through someone else.

So step away from the microphone for a moment. Move back from the front of the room and start in the back of the room by approaching different people and simply asking: How may I help you?

Your Best Communication Tool

I know of a lot of student leaders who don't feel like they're good public speakers.

They begin to feel that if they can't deliver a message in front of a group of people they're not good communicators.

I invite you to take that and file it away under communication MYTHS.

I believe that a leader's best communication tool is the ability to listen.

That's right...can you hear me now? Listening will be the thing that defines your leadership communication.

If there's a problem in your organization - you're first move should be to listen.
If there's a difficulty between you and someone else - you should take the time to listen.
If you don't know what your next step should be - take a listening tour amongst those whom you serve.

For some, this may be one of the most freeing ideas you've thought about in awhile. It isn't so much that you have to always say the right thing. It's more about letting the people whom you serve know that you HEAR them, that you've taken the time to LISTEN to them. You got your ears on and they know it.

Think about it: Who do you like to be around? The person who talks all the time or the person who takes the time to listen to you?

Now I'm all for a person learning to hone their communication skills. Learn to speak better, learn to write better. Learn to craft a compelling message.

But don't forget (which often happens) to take the time to work at (and it DOES take work) your listening skills.

One of the best compliments a person can give you at the end of your student leadership year is that you were the one who takes the time to listen.

Halfway Point

Today is the last day of June 2009.

While it might not be the literal halfway point of 2009, it is the end of six months with six months to go.

With the year half over, it's good to do a little bit of reflection - both looking back and looking ahead.

EXERCISE:

Take a half-hour today to ask yourself the following:

1. What worked in the first half of 2009 and what didn't?

2. Who are the people that I need to invest in during the second half of the year?

3. Where do I want to be in my life (productivity, accomplishments, goals) when December 31, 2009 rolls around?

4. When will I actually complete the goals I made for myself on January 1, 2009 (you did make some goals, right?)?

5. How will I improve myself in one area of my life over the next six months?

Halfway points can provide a great opportunity to refocus, refuel, and refresh yourself on a long journey. You've made it this far. You just might be amazed at what you can accomplish in the NEXT six months.

Let Them Lead

Students learn to become student leaders by leading something.

If your "student leaders" gather together for regular "student leader" meetings - have they really led anything yet?

If you pass out "student leader" t-shirts to your "student leaders" - have they really led anything yet?

If you hand your "student leaders" a book on "student leadership" - have they really led anything yet?

What you will discover is that the REAL "student leaders" will appreciate the meetings, the t-shirt, and the book at the beginning. But they will move on to something else quickly because they're bored with the process and haven't had a chance to actually LEAD anything.

The question is: Are your "student leaders" actually leading anything or anyone?

Leadership Fundamentals: Which 3 Would You Choose?

John Ryan has recently written an article in Forbes.com where he lists his "Three Fundamentals Of Effective Leadership." Ryan starts the article by saying:

Through more than 40 years of service in the military, in higher education and with nonprofits, I've been privileged to work with and learn from superb leaders, from the young instructors who taught me how to fly airplanes for the U.S. Navy to the very smart group of corporate chief executive officers I met during a recent business trip to Asia.

These talented people have differed widely in their personality traits and life stories. Some have been charismatic, some very modest. Some came from poor backgrounds, others grew up amid great wealth. Some of them came by their leadership abilities naturally, and many others worked hard at developing them.

But all of these men and women have shared three critically important skills:

His three are: vision, communication, and judgement.

If you had to choose three fundamentals...which would you choose?

The Principle Of The Path - Book Review

I listen to Andy Stanley a couple of times a week. He's well-represented on iTunes through his various podcasts. Some of his audio downloads are sermons, some are talks he gives to select groups of people, and some are fantastic leadership podcasts that are practical and applicable the minute you stop listening.

Not only is he a fantastic speaker, but he's a great writer. Perhaps that's because he follows the sage writing advice that simply says to "write like you talk." His conversational style, insightful stories, and practical application that hits you right where you live make this a book that might require you bring two pens because there's so much to underline (you do write in your books don't you? If not, you need to read this).

The Principle of the Path is a book that answers the question: Why am I not where I want to be?

Each and everyone of us is on a certain path; an accumulation of choices, circumstances, and decisions that eventually lead us to the life we have...right now. Like the law of gravity, there are certain principles at work in our life. We don't need to discover them, we only need to realize that they are there and then operate accordingly. That's the way it is with this principle - the principle of the path:

Direction - not intention - determines our destination.

That's the punchline. But you've got to read the book to unpack it and understand how this principle impacts our lives...every...single...day.

One of the things I really enjoyed about this book is how Andy Stanley goes Old Testament on us. He pulls out nuggets from the classic Wisdom literature in Proverbs. He works through the key issues that prominent OT people like David, Solomon, Jeremiah, and Rehoboam wrestled with as this principle was at work in their own lives. This book isn't simply based on Andy Stanley's ideas. It is written from the wealth of wisdom that we find in pages of Scripture.

Andy also speaks from the breadth of his own experiences, sharing how this principle has affected his own life. You'll immediately relate to his points as you hear his self-depracting stories about his encounters with a closed down highway, or a hurricane while anchored off shore in the St. Thomas, or driving the streets of Florence, Italy where no cars had gone before, or how his life was immediately changed when he met his soon-to-be wife, Sandy. Andy has a way of telling a story.

Yet, with each turn of the page you realize that Andy's story sort of sounds a lot like my story, like our story. And then you start to realize that you might be trying to operate outside of this foundational principle - the principle of the path.

If you're a college student - you should read this book. You have some of the most important decisions ahead of you. This book will help you think about where those decisions will lead you.

As I look back through all of the notes, underlines, asterisks, and arrows pointing to exclamation marks in my copy of The Principle of the Path, there are some points that stand out that you might be interested in as well.

• "It really doesn't matter where I intended to be, the path I take determines my ultimate destination." (p19)
• "The best question ever: 'In light of my past experience, and my future hopes and dreams, what's the wise thing to do?" (p40)
• "Today's decisions create tomorrow's experiences." (p55)
• "We can never be free as long as we're in the habit of lying to ourselves about the reasons behind the choices we make and the paths we take." (p73)
• "Choosing the right path begins with submission, not information...submission to the One who knows where each path leads..." (p83)
• "One never accomplishes the will of God by breaking the law of God, violating the principles of God, or ignoring the wisdom of God." (p113 and I put BIG asterisks by this one)
• "Attention determines direction." (p137)

There is so much more. In fact, at the end of the book is a Study Guide for you and others who are reading the book to work through it together. The Study Guide will help you dissect each chapter by providing the Key Idea, Key Truths, Key Questions, and Key Wisdom (from select passages of Scripture).

My only warning about this book is that it's not a book that you simply read and then move on to the next one. As Andy Stanley states in the Epilogue, "Knowing doesn't make the difference. Doing does." The truths in this book will require careful reflection and evaluation of one's own direction. And that's a good thing.

Now Is A Good Time To Evaluate Your Experience

Did you learn anything this year?

My hope is that you have taken the time to think about your student leadership experience. I am amazed at how many students will invest an entire year in student leadership and then just walk away. Do you know how many valuable lessons you might have if you just take the time to think about what you've just experienced?

You may find yourself sitting in an office somewhere trying to interview for a position. The interviewer will ask you about the experience you just had in student leadership. What will you tell that person?

Everyone can have an experience. But not everyone learns all they can from their experience.

I passed out a simple list of questions to my student leaders. I told them to go off somewhere quiet where they could think and start to evaluate all that happened during their student leadership year. I wanted them to figure out what all of the takeaways would be.

» What did I learn as a student leader?
» What will I need to remember from my student leadership year?
» Which interactions with others taught me the most about how to work with people?
» What do I know now that I didn’t know a year ago?
» What am I better at as a result of this student leadership experience?
» How would I describe my student leadership experience in 100 words?
» How am I better prepared for the next chapter in my story?
» What would I have done differently as a student leader?
» If I had one hour with a group of newly elected student leaders, what would I want to talk to them about?
» What mistakes did I make this year and what did I learn from them?
» What do I hope to be remembered for as a student leader?
» How could I have done better as a student leader?

You can download the one page document here (pdf). Evaluating your experience as a student leader may be the best thing you do all year.

flickr photo credit: amanda mac

3 Ways To Show You Value Your Teammates

Have you ever been in a position where you simply felt like a "hired hand?"

You were called upon to do all of the grunt work, to keep quiet, and to do your job without causing anyone else any trouble. You felt alone and isolated. When you were around "those in charge" you felt like you were the warm body who only did the things that no one else wanted to do.

That's a bad feeling.

I think it's even worse when you are in a position of leadership and you work in such a way that your teammates begin to feel that way.

A good leader will get people involved.
A better leader will get people involved with significant work.
A great leader will get people involved with significant work that develops more leaders.

Here's the punchline:

Your team wants to be treated as leaders with value and potential.

Student leaders start to operate out of the "hired hand" mentality when they see people as a means to accomplish a task. But that's not leadership, that's simply herding resources. A student leader begins to operate as a leader when he or she sees the tasks before them as a way to invest in and develop their people into better leaders.

Leaders developing other leaders...that's the key.

Here's three ways you can show your teammates that they're more than just people who are there to help you get your stuff done:

1. Show them that the relationship is a very important.
The relationship shows that you accept them for who they are more than for what they can do.

2. Be willing to and express your willingness to give them your time.
Your time is your greatest resource. If you spend time with them, it shows them that you see them as important.

3. They need to see, feel, and believe that you value them as someone who is capable of making a significant contribution.
Your teammates want to do something that's meaningful just as much as you do. Connect their contribution to the accomplishment of the team's vision and goals. Help them to see how their contribution is a vital piece to the whole puzzle.

As the leader, you set the tone. Focus on the people doing the tasks more than the tasks done by people and you'll be amazed at how much more your team accomplishes.

Flickr photo credit: erin kate

Are You Motivational?

I stepped down from the platform after finishing up a talk I had just given.

A young man approached me and asked me this question:

Are you a motivational speaker?

I was a little taken aback at first. There are all kinds of definitions and images of what a motivational speaker is and what a motivational speaker does. I wondered what he meant.

After talking to him a bit more, I took the question for what it was meant to be - a gracious compliment.

Somewhere in my talk he had been inspired and came in contact with the energy and excitement to move forward in a certain area of his life. That's a good thing.

Motivation can be one of the highest forms of influence. We are all naturally motivated at some level. But at some point in the aging process, we become de-motivated in certain areas of our lives. We often need someone to come along and help us reach into some of those early yearnings that we had to do significant things.

A person who motivates others isn't really doing anything to them. People really DO want to act and move in a positive direction. But they need some other human voice to speak into their lives and help them connect with what is already there.

The formula is simple: Action = Inward Desire + Outward Stimulation

This why people will pay large sums of money to hear speakers, listen to tapes, and read books that tap into their inner desire and help them move into action. They are looking for something that will engage in their passions and the deep-seeded longing to do something great.

Think about the man who looks at his bride after 20 years and says the words, "I love you." Hopefully, this is not some new revelation to her, some piece of information that she's just finding out about. In fact, there's nothing new about it all. But the message touches something deep within her and engages with her soul. It's a meaningful message that speaks what she needs and hopes to hear.

"Motivation" comes from the same root word as "movement." That's why the young man came up to me afterwards and asked if I was seeking to be motivational...because he was moved to a response.

If you, as a student leader, want to be "motivational" in your communication, consider the ways that you can tap into the things that are embedded in your audience's heart.

Needs - The things that we need on a daily basis.
Interests - The things that we're curious about or want to know more about.
Concerns - The things that we worry about or fear.
Desires - The things that we long for and deeply want.

Your team, your followers are hoping that you will be a motivational voice in their lives. Every time you communicate with them, you have an opportunity to touch their needs, their interests, their concerns, and their desires. Zig Ziglar said, “People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.”

Flickr photo credit: willoughby00

Don't Tell Me You're Going To Just "Wing It!"

I just went through a round of campaign speeches at my University for Class Council positions. I am always intrigued by the wide range of presentations. Some students appear to have actually put some time into it.

I wish I could have just a minute prior to the speeches with all of the candidates. I know that they aren't all polished speakers and that everyone gets a little nervous (or a LOT nervous) when they have to get up in front of people.

I would simply say...

"Don't tell your audience that you're unprepared. Don't tell them that you don't know what you're going to say. Don't tell them that you had something planned, but you've chosen to do something else. Don't get up there and say that you're just going to wing it."

Whenever students begin a speech with one of these statements or a similar one, I have one prediction: pain.

It creates an awkward moment between the speaker and audience. It usually leads to rambling, then to false endings, and then to...well...pain (at least I feel it).

I think the best thing that a person can do if they're unprepared is to stand up in front of their peers and say this:

"Hi. You have one vote. My name is __________________ and I'm running for __________________. I'd like to ask you to use your vote and vote for me. Have a great day."

I would probably stand up and cheer if I heard a speech like that.